The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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