Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As shirtless as possible
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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