i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
