absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize