so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
