did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
