I heard we made out
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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