u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize