but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I love you. Go after that dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
