I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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