If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
