So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
