It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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