Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize