Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
