i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
