I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
