Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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