I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
