Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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