Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
