I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize