Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Your penis caused this!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
