before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
