fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
