Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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