it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize