The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
