dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
