Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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