So drunk its hurt
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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