why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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