I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
