just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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