okay pat passed out under dana's car
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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