Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
