So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
