so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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