And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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