I need to stop coming to work sober
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize