I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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