Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
