i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
