I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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