its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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