That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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