He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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