All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
