So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
