It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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