I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize