Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
