I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize