In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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