Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
