i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
