Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
