ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His nipple licking is glorious
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